Look for the Breakthrough But Don’t Get Caught up In Where You’re Going to Find It

A lot of people have commented to me that it looks like my business came out of nowhere or that I seem to be everywhere these days.

The truth is I’ve been around for a while. The work I have been doing hasn’t changed much in 5 years…or 17 for some of it. I have been counseling and teaching for 17, I have been “coaching” for 5 and have been marketing and helping others market their business for 4+. I have been out there, doing and working my butt off since I hung up my shingle as a sole proprietor 5 years ago.

I didn’t always have a web presence that reflected that though. I didn’t always market myself openly. And, I wasn’t always successful (as far as I’m concerned) as I am now. But I was there.

And I struggled during a lot of that time. I wanted to be 10 steps ahead. I wanted to attract better clients, make more money, be more well known, be seen as someone who knew the hell what she was talking about. But I didn’t and I wasn’t.

Until I was ready to.

It sounds so obvious, right? That I needed to be ready?But it was true. About a year and half ago it became very clear that I really needed a breakthrough. And I mean an earth shattering, game changing, life altering, breakthrough. I was certain of it. I had been living on the verge in my business for too long and something was going to have to happen or I was going to go off and do something really unlucrative and unfun. I was tired of being worried all of the time and not having enough fun.

What made this time really different though was that the only thing I focused on was the fact that I WANTED a breakthrough. I didn’t try to seek out someone who could give it to me, join a gazillion programs looking for it to happen and I didn’t spend any time imagining how it would come…all of which I had done in the past. I just set a clear intention and went on with my work.

When it came it nearly brought me to my knees. I was not expecting it. And it came through an experience where I actually thought one thing would happen and the exact opposite did. It was one of those great moments that taught me how important it is not to get caught up in the when or the how or the why but just be clear on what you want and the answer will show up as long as you keep doing your thang.

The breakthrough for me was around this belief that I was never going to be good enough, big enough, effective enough, smart enough or expert enough to be taken really seriously. This “good enough” biz is the story of my life. It’s  the story that shows up whenever I get stuck or things don’t go as well as I want.

The breakthrough came when I was away at an event. The person who was leading it had always been sort of a mystery to me. I was fascinated by her confidence and curious as to how she had a built a business as “big” as she had on her level of expertise, which didn’t seem that much to me. I had this picture in my mind that she could do no wrong. I expected to go to this event and be blown away. And I was. Though not in the way I had thought.

I learned things I never had thought I would that at the time felt very specific but in retrospect are just huge lessons that I needed to learn and I think most of us could benefit from.

1. Many people are not the experts or masters we think or that they seem to be (some marketing messages are true – some are just crap.) You simply can’t believe everything you read or perceive online.

2. Be careful about how high you put someone you have never worked with personally. Many people are grossly irresponsible in their work and they do things they have no business doing. I have experienced this far too many times. Coaches that cross the line into therapy when they have NO training or experience in following through with what comes up in the process. Coaches that promise you something they could never in truth deliver on. And on and on.

3. Focus more on the substance of the work itself than the hype that surrounds it. In other words, seeing and experiencing is believing.

4. Being believable is half the battle. The person who was hosting this event was believable to me (at least until I experienced the event). She fully believed in her greatness and so did and do many, many others. Part of what they believe about her is what she believes about herself. That’s incredibly powerful. To those who really need to believe this can work. But to those of us like me who really don’t need to believe anyone else, this is simply not enough. (I’ve never been one to drink anyone’s kool-aid can you tell?)

5. Don’t spend any more time thinking you’re not good enough at what you do to have the kind of success you want. Do what you can do, what you’re good at, what you’re trained to do and experienced enough to do and you can have whatever success you want as long as you make success a priority that you’re willing to work toward every day.

That experience taught me that a lot of people are not all they are cracked up to be and I can hold my own against almost anyone. It was time I did.

Those lessons were huge for me. That was the breakthrough I needed and my business changed more dramatically than I ever imagined after that experience…an experience where I learned the exact opposite from what I thought I would. It taught me that very often we spend time comparing ourselves to ideas, to perceptions, to untruths. That only serves to limit us and give us the false belief that we are not enough. No more, okay?

It tickles me a little bit that I tend to get a lot of clients coming to me after they have spent all of their money, energy and trust with someone who is “bigger” and more visible than me. It warms my heart when they tell me they got more out of just a couple of sessions with me (at 1/3 of the price usually) than they did with them. I don’t think it is a coincidence that I attract those people. I think part of what I’m really good at is combining the practical with the big vision and being very clear about what I can help people do.

You have to be able to promise a hell of a lot with those massive price tags people float around out there but from what I have seen and heard I am not convinced all too many have been able to deliver. How can you? We’re not talking brain surgery here.

I don’t promise a dollar amount, an amount of people you’ll get on your list, or a business that will allow you to work 4 hours a day.  I’m certain about what I can do and can’t do and I would rather lose your business to a competitor than move into territory I am not qualified for or trained in just to make a sale and keep the illusion going that I can do no wrong. I don’t necessarily believe that everyone has “It” and by “It” I mean the guts, grit and gumption combined with the likeability and charisma factor that will get them to the top.  So, I deliver the very best of who I am to my clients  and I hope that they implement what I teach them but I am not a magician and I’m not going to charge prices that demand I be one.

I got the breakthrough because I went looking for it, I wanted it and I put myself in situations to get it. I didn’t create the expectation for where it would happen, who would give it to me and what would happen as a result. I just opened myself up to it.

When you want a breakthrough, look for it. Desire to have the transformation happen. Be driven to learn the lesson that’s there for you. As cliche as it may sound, the rest really will come.

Tagged as: business goals, women entrepreneursreper